How to Be a Good Mother
 

The definition of a good mother varies depending on who you ask. However, most people agree that the most important thing is to love your children and make sure they feel loved. There aren’t any set rules for how to be a mom, but there are some guidelines you can use to parent your children to be honest, firmly stand in your identity, and come out on your terms. Make sure to prioritize your mental and physical well-beincerned, let her know that you’re safe and healthy so she doesn’t worry. Here are some ways to let her know you’d like to talk:
“Mom, I have something important to ddler, one-on-one time might include getting down on the floor and playing with them.
For an older child, try doing a hobby with them, like baking, hiking, or doing arts and crafts.
3
Show your support.
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Validate your child’s interests to help them feel worthy.
Validate your child’s interests to help them feel worthy. Even if it’s not exactly what you’d choose for yourself, nurturing their interests can help boost your kid’s self esteem and make them feel confident in their own life. Their interests may come and go, so be prepared to shift gears fairly often.[2]
If your teenager has joined a band, give some positive feedback about the songs they write.
If your preteen is obsessed with space, buy them books or take them on a trip to the planetarium.
4
Love your children unconditionally.
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It will help your children feel confident in themselves and in you.
It will help your children feel confident in themselves and in you. Even if your child messes up or you have to discipline them, let them know that you still love them. As a parent, your job is to love your child for who they are, not for who you wish they were.[3]
Try to avoid criticizing or blaming your child for their mistakes. Instead, focus on what they can do better next time.
5
Set clear, firm rules.
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Communicate with your kids about what’s okay and what isn’t.
Communicate with your kids about what’s okay and what isn’t. Hold a family meeting to verbalize the guidelines and be sure everyone understands the consYouthSleep Overs
How to Convince Your Mom to Let You Have a Sleepover
 

Building an Argument |Talking to Your Mom |Proposing Alternatives |Q&A |Tips
Sleepovers can be a lot of fun, but your mom may not be as excited about the idea as you are. Your mother may think that you aren’t old enough, or be nervous about something goinreally are with her, you could help her stay in touch with what’s most important. Try saying the following to remind her what matters most:
“Mom, I want you to know that I love you so much.”
“I really want us to have an open, authentic relationship. And to me, that means I have to be honest about who I really am.”
“It’s because I trust you and love you so much that I want to have this conversation with you. It’s really hard, but it’s worth it.”
Step 5 Share your experience, be honest, and say everything you need to.
5
Share your experience, be honest, and say everything you need to.
There’s no single "right" way to come out to your mom. But typically, being truthful and open is a great way to go. If you wrote out something to say, let that guide you. If you’d rather speak off the cuff, that works too. It’s okay if things don’t come out perfectly—just try your best to be open and honest. NV recommends focusing on your desire to be happy as your authentic self.[4] Here’s some phrasing that might help:
"Mom, I'm gay. It's always felt like I was keeping a huge secret from the people who know me best, and I don't want to do that anymore. I want to be true to myself."
"Your support means the world to me. I know you may need time to process this, but I really hope you can support and love me for who I am."
Step 6 Let your mom know you’re still the same person she knows and loves.
6
Let your mom know you’re still the same person she knows and loves.
Learning something new about you may surprise your mom. She may feel like she’s been missing something huge or like she doesn’t really know you. Remind her that you’re still the same person you were before you told her and that your sexuality doesn’t define you. NV recommends telthing tough and meaningful.
1
Celebrate the fact that you just did something tough and meaningful.
Be proud of yourself! However your mom reacted, that doesn’t take away from this gigantic step you took toward becoming exactly who you’re meant to be. You deserve to be truly known by the people around you. Today, you gave yourself (and your mom) that opportunity.[14]
The people you love may need time to adjust. Coming out may take those closest to you completely by surprise, and their reactions could reflect that.
Your mom’s reaction may not have been what you’d hoped. That’s okay. In fact, that’s common. Don't forget—this will probably improve over time.
Today, no matter what happened, you deserve to treat yourself. Go buy some candy, hang out with a friend, or take yourself to the movies. You did it!
Step 2 Keep open communication with your mom.
2
Keep open communication with your mom.
Though it could disrupt your relationship in the short term, remember that coming out to your mom will ultimately create a closer, more honest relationsexuality. This way, there isn’t room for misunderstanding.[8]
You can tell your mom that she shouldn’t share this with anyone. Or, you can let her know specifically who she can and can’t speak to about your sexuality.
You might tell her, “Hey, I need you to know that this is just between the two of us right now. I’m still working through things, so I’ll need more time before others know.”
Step 10 Give her the time she needs to process.
10
Give her the time she needs to process.
In a perfect world, your mom wohrough your mouth. It might also help to count to 10 before you react to a situation. If you calm yourself down first, you can work on figuring out a solution without blowing up.[10]
Meditation and yoga can also help you lower your stress levels throughout the day.
13
Lean on your support group.
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Friends and family members can help out when you’re overwhelmed.
Friends and family serve your relationship if you give each other grace.
How to Move Forward After Telling Your Mom You’re Gay
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Step 1 Celebrate the fact that you just did somemom's blessing or acceptance.
4
Move forward regardless of your mom's blessing or acceptance.
Ultimately, your happiness doesn't rely on your mother’s ability to accept you for who you are. It probably feels so important to you right now, and that makes sense. But your life is going to be filled with love, support, and companionship whether or not your mom can learn to respect your sexuality.[16]
NV says to set your expectations and not to stake everything on whether or not your mom accepts your identity.[17]
You deserve to be surrounded by acceptance. If she can’t do that for you, then she’ll be missing out on an authentic relationship with an amazing person.
Step 5 Reach out to your support system to help you cope.
5
Reach out to your support system to help you cope.
No matter how your mom reacts, things in your life may feel shaky for a little while after you come out. Go to the people you love for a hug, an ear, a laugh, or a word opert advice you need!
1 - Am I Gay Quiz1    Am I Gay Quiz
2 - Am I a Lesbian Qmembers can help out when you’re overwhelmed. If you need to, reach out to a close friend or a family member to simply chat or get out of the house. You can also join a mom group in your local community to connect with others who also have kids.gs, as well as practical advice on coming out. If you’ve already come out to other friends and family, lean on them for emotional support.[10] Check out these resources for extra support:
LGBT National Hotline: (888) 843-4564
LGBT National Youth Talkline: (800) 246-7743
The Trevor Project: (866) 488-7386
Step 2 Write yourself a script to remember what you’d like to say.
2
Write yourself a script to remember what you’d like to say.
When you come out, your emotions may b in a loving way.

Here are 13 ways you can be a more supportive, loving mother.

How can I be a good mom?
Parenting expert Kristen Duke says a good mom is someone who listens to and validates their child. You don’t have to agree with everything your child says or does, but show them that you understand their point of view. Your child might be annoyed that you disagree with them, but they know they can still trust you.

1
Show affection often.
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Dish out plenty of love in the form of hugs, kisses, and praise.
Dish out plenty of love in the form of hugs, kg and to come out when you feel ready. Be patient and let your mom know you love her and that you’re still the same person she knows and loves.

How to Tell Your Mom You’re Gay
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Step 1 Choose a time in your life that feels right for you.
1
Choose a time in your life that feels right for you.
It’s natural to worry about how your mom, other family, and friends will take your choice to come out. Some strategizing can help, but at the end of the day, this experience is still yours. Licensed social worker and LGBTQ+ identity expert Zoe Stoller recommends “prioritizing coming out in a way that feels safe, fulfilling, and supportive to you.”[1] You should tell others when you feel ready.
Feeling anxious? We’ll cover extra tips for preparing to tell your mom later in the article.
Meet the wikiHow Experts

NV Gay is an LGBTQIA+ activist and educator based in Columbus, Ohio. Their work focuses on empowering and uplifting marginalized communities through art, education, and public speaking.

Zoe Stoller is an LGBTQ+ social worker and educator based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. They have 5 years of experience with LGBTQ+ health and wellness, and they create educational content on social media about LGBTQ identities.

Step 2 Take precautions if you're not sure that coming out will be safe for you.
2
Take precautions if you're not sure that coming out will be safe for you.
“First and foremost, protect your safety, both physical and emotional,” notes Stoller.[2] Before you come out to your mother, reflect on whether or not you believe her reaction could involve physical violence or emotional abuse. If you have any doubts whatsoever, take steps to ensure you stay safe.
If you're concerned that your mom might act unsafely or kick you out, have an exit plan ready. If you live with your mom, line up alternative housing.
Consider meeting in a public location if you think you may be unsafe during the conversation. You could also ask a friend to wait outside while you speak.
If you believe you may end up in an unsafe living situation, consider waiting to come out until you’re financially independent.
Step 3 Tell your mom there's something important you need to discuss.
3
Tell your mom there's something important you need to discuss.
Keep in mind that once you mention this to her, there’s a good chance that she’ll want to speak right away. Tell her when and where you’d like to speak. If she seems t. Whether it's an uncle, sibling, or whatever, you don't have to jump right to your mom if you're not comfortable with that.
Not Helpful 8Helpful 26
Question
Whenever I think about coming out, I feel sick. How can I build up the courage?
Community Answerinforce your mother’s belief that you aren’t old enough to have a sleepover.
If you feel yourself getting really angry, slow your breathing down and count from 1-10 in your head to reset yourself.
Step 5 Show gratitude and be willing to compromise.
5
Show gratitude and be willing to compromise. Even if you didn’t get what you want, thank your mom for hearing you out. If your mother wants to negotiate, be open to modifying youconisses, and praise. Affection reminds your child that they are loved unconditionally. Plus, it’s linked to higher self-esteem, better academic performance, fewer behavioral problems, and an overall stronger relationship between you and your child.
Make sure most of the interactions you have with your children are positive and loving. Strive to show affection daily.
If you have a baby, affection may simply involve holding your infant regularly or speaking reassuringly.
2
Spend time with your kids one-on-one.
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Quality time is important for building strong relationships.
Quality time is importauld tell you she loves you, remind you that nothing could change that, and wrap you up in a big hug. Sometimes though, even parents need time to adjust. That warm, loving response may be coming, it just may take a while to get here.[9]
Try your best to stay empathetic while she processes. Your mother may be facing some confusing, overwhelming feelings, and they may not be what you expect.
Your mom may feel guilty for not knowing sooner. She may feel worried for your safety. Any number of big emotions could be coming up for her.
In time, these feelings will probably become much more manageable.
How can you prepare to tell your mom you’re gay?
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Step 1 Talk to a friend or professional to help you cope with stress.
1
Talk to a friend or professional to help you cope with stress.
Coming out to your family members can be terrifying. LGBTQ+ resource organizations and mental health professionals can both offer you a place to talk through your feelinaking some time to yourself. Explain self-care to them and ask them what they do for self-care. This will build a healthy habit in your children.
12
Try deep-breathing in times of stress.
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Parenting comes with a lot of high stress situations.
Parenting comes wship down the line. She’ll probably have tons of questions for you, and as long as you feel safe and respected, you should try your best to answer them.[15]
By letting her know that you’re here to help her understand, the process will likely feel less scary and overwhelming to her.
Your relationship with your mom is probably important to you, but take care of you first. Your mental health should still be a top priority.
Step 3 Show her how to educate herself on the LGBTQ+ community.
3
Show her how to educate herself on the LGBTQ+ community.
If your mom struggles with fears and worries around your sexuality, this could very well be because she just doesn’t understand it. By offering her some educational materials written for parents, you could empower her through knowledge.
Hopefully, this will also teach her how she can best support you through your journey. You deserve to be surrounded by people who can do that for you.
Think about your circle of friends. Have any of them come out to parents who would be willing to help?
You might say, “Hey Mom, I know you’ve been struggling with this. Would you want to chat with Alan’s parents about their experience? They’d love to speak with you."
Step 4 Move forward regardless of your ling your mom that this is just a small part of who you are.[5] Just keep her grounded in the fact that you’re telling her now because you trust her and want her to know you better. You might say something like:
“I’m still who you raised me to be, and this doesn’t change that.”
“I want you to understand me more fully, which is why I’ve decided to tell you this.”
“I’m still the child you know and love. This is just one part of who I am.”
Step 7 Gently ask your mother to let you speak if she interrupts.
7
Gently ask your mother to let you speak if she interrupts.
Your mom may feel like she’s bursting with questions to ask and things to say. If she tries to speak over you, let her know that it’s important you get everything out on the table. Then, promise her that there will be time for questions when you're finished.
“I love you and I want to hear what you have to say, but this is hard for me. I need the floor if I’m going to say everything I need to.”
Step 8 Set clear boundaries if your mom has a negative reaction.
8
Set clear boundaries if your mom has a negative reaction.
Stoller notes, “The important thing is that you feel that your identity is being supported, affirmed, and protected as you are sharing it.”[6] If your mom reacts in a way that makes you feel at all unsafe, enact your exit plan immediately. If her reaction is angry or accusatory but not dangerous, you can choose to comfort her, set boundaries, or leave the conversation. Remember, it's not your responsibility to teach her to understand your sexuality. Protect your own emotional needs first.
To set a boundary, try, "I see that you're angry, but this isn't healthy for me. I can't talk to you about this if you can't be kind."
To leave the conversation, try, "I need to step away from this conversation. I'll let you know when we can discuss this again."
Step 9 Tell your mom who she can and can’t tell.
9
Tell your mom who she can and can’t tell.
With anyone in your life, coming out should happen on your terms. NV affirms that this is your secret to tell who you want and when you want.[7] Your mom may not understand the significance of that. Make sure you let her know exactly who she can and can’t speak to about your ith a lot of high stress situations. If you ever feel yourself about to lose your cool, stop and take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out tnt for building strong relationships. If you have multiple children, make an effort to hang out with each one on their own instead of as a group. Even short windows of time can strengthen the bond between you two.[1]
If you're dealing with a baby or toConsider what skills you’sk your mom to help you set up a fire so that you and your friends can roast hot dogs and make smores.
Step 4 Ask your parents about overnight programs at the local zoo or library.
4
Ask your parents about overnight programs at the local zoo or library. Zoos, libraries, and schools often host overnight sleepover camps for young people in their area. If your moth
Community Answer
You should never feel obligated to come out. Don't come out until you're ready. When you are ready, take deep breaths and remember that you are not alone.
Not Helpful 33Helpful 142
Question
What if I have told my friends before my mother? Is that wrong?
Community Answer
Community Answer
No. Who you come out to (or not) and in what order is your choice and yours alone.rengthening friendships, getting new experiences, and learning how to host friends in your home.
Step 2 Ask your friends if they want to have a sleepover and create a guest list.
2
Ask your friends if they want to have a sleepover and create a guest list. When you tell your mom that you want to have a sleepover, their first question is going to be, “With who?” Ask a few close friends if they want to have a sleepover ahead of time, and write down the names of any friends that say yes. Try to keep the guest list between 2-4 friends for your first sleepover.[2]
Tip: To increase the odds of your mom saying yes, stick to friends that are the same age and gender. If you’re 10 years old and a boy, only invite other 10-year-old boys.

Step 3 Get your friends to give you their parents’ phone numbers.
3
Get your friends to give you their parents’ phone numbers. Even if your mom is already friendly with your friends’ parents, try to get their contact information ahead of time. Your mother will have to coordinate pickup and drop-off times for the sleepover with your friends’ parents, and having their phone numbers readily available will make this process easier.[3]
Even if you know your mom already has the phone numbers of the other parents, get them anyway. This will show her that you’re serious about having a sleepover and will demonstrate that you’re mature enough to host one.
Step 4 Come up with plans for the sleepover.
4
Come up with plans for the sleepover. Where will everyone sleep? What time will you be going to bed? Are there any games that you’re going to play with your friends when they sleep over? While your mom may set limitations on a lot of these questions, write out a few initial ideas to show her that you’re capable of organizing it yourself.[4]
To avoid people fightioom. Practice in the mirror to see how you look when you’re presenting.[5]
If you get scared when talking to your mother about something you want, try to memorize the first couple of sentences.
Start with something like, “I would like to talk to you about having a sleepover. I think that I’m old enough to handle having a few friends over, and this is my idea. I would like to invite Lisa and Sarah and their parents said it was okay. We will go to bed at a reasonable time and will sleep in the living room together.”
Method
2
Talking to Your Mom
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Step 1 Talk to your mother when she’s in a good mood and not busy.
1
Talk to your mother when she’s in a good mood and not busy. Don’t bring up your idea first thing in the morning or as soon as your mom get home from work. This will make her less likely to hear you out, since she won’t be ready to talk. Instead, find a calm time during the day to bring upf encouragement when you need it. Prioritize seeing people who just make you feel great.
Go laugh your head off with your best pal over a cup of coffee.
Enjoy a long walk with that friend who’s a really great listener.
If you’re struggling to find someone to talk to, know that there are so many resources out there for you. Call an LGBTQ+ support hotline for help.
Step 6 Continue to put yourself first.
6
Continue to put yourself first.
Offering your mom support and communication could be a huge help, but above all, you need to be taking care of you. Get your sleep, eat well, and keep your confidence up through daily positive affirmations. With extra stress in your life, now is the time to make sure you’re keeping your foundation strong, resilient, and healthy.[18]
Get 8 hours of sleep each night.
Make sure you’re eating enough food each day.
Each morning, look in the mirror and say you’re proud of yourself. “It was so hard to come out to my mom, but I did it. I’m so brave.”
Quiz Pack: We’ve handpicked these quizzes just for you.
You’ve read the article, now get personalized advice with wikiHow Quizzes. Each quiz is carefully researched and even endorsed by experts. Have fun and get the ex the subject. Politely ask her if she has some time to talk to you before stating your case.[6]
Approach your mother and say, “Hey mom! Do you have a few minutes to talk about having a sleepover? I really want to have one here and I have a few ideas.”
Tip: Pay attention throughout the day to see if your mom is in a good mood or not. If she’s been smiling and laughing a lot, it’s probably a good day to ask her.

Step 2 Ask your mom about sleepovers that she had growing up.
2
Ask your mom about sleepovers that she had growing up. Your mom probably had sleepovers when she was your age. If you can get her to think back to her childhood, she may be more likely to give you what you want. Ask her questions about what she did at sleepovers when she was your age, and if she has any experience hosting sleepovers when she was a kid.[7]
Step 3 Share your ideas in a calm manner and keep your voice down.
3
Share your ideas in a calm manner and keep your voice down. Use your indoor voice and take a breath between each sentence to collect your thoughts. Staying calm while you’re presenting will show your mother that you’ve thought through your ideas and care deeply about having a sleepover.[8] If your mom is initially against it, don’t worry. If you can show her that you’re capable of having an adult conversation, she may change her mind.[9]
Step 4 Keep cool if you don’t get your way.
4
Keep cool if you don’t get your way. Don’t throw a temper tantrum if the conversation doesn’t go exactly the way you want it to. If your mother initially says no, wait a couple of days and then try asking her again. She may change their mind over the course of a few days, and asking her again may show them that you’re serious.[10]
If you lose your cool, you’re only going to reer is totally opposed to sleepovers, she may be open to you and your friends attending an educational program in a sld it should happen on your terms. That being said, picking a comfortable setting could let your mom focus more completely on ws have plans the next day or you don’t have the space to accommodate a lot of your friends.[13]
Step 3 See if you can go camping in the backyard instead.
3
See if you can go camping in the backyard instead. If your mother really cares about her personal space, see if she’ll let you and your friends camp in the backyard. Set up a tent out back and have your friends bring sleeping bags. You can play games in the tent and hang out in your backyard throughout the night.[14]
If you have a fire pit in your backyard, you can aget picked up around 9:00 or 10:00 pm instead of spending the night. This may be a good middle ground if yo take on more duties, so you can rest. You might also give them specific tasks to do so that you're not bogged down.[7]
This might sound like, "Sweetie, I haven't slept well in days. Do you mind putting the kids to bed tonight so I can turn in early?"
If you don’t have a co-parent, that’s okay. Try to lean on your support system, like a good friend or family member, for help.
10
Model healthy relationships.
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Show your children how to treat people appropriately.
Show your children how to treat people appropriately. Whether you’re with your spouse, co-parent, family members, friends, or strangers, you should always treat people with respect and kindness. Let your kids know what it means to be a good friend or partner, and show them how you actively listen, compromise, and share with others.[8]
Use teachable moments when you and your spouse disagree (on lighter matters) to show your kids how to work through conflicts.
EXPERT TIP
Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCCMoshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist
Treat your kids with kindness, no matter what. Talk things through with them like you would with any other adult to show them that you value them, too. Reciprocate what you want them to put out into the world—be a role model.

11
Take time for yourself.
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You shoung about who gets a bed, sg wrong with a bunch of kids in her home. Set her at ease by presenting her with a small guest list and compelling list of reasons for you to host a sleepover. If she still isn’t open to the idea, consider asking her about having a late-night gathering where your friends don’t sleep over. Overnight programs and backyard camping are other solid alternatives that you may want to bring up as well. If you keep your cool and demonstrate that you’re old enough, you and your friends will be having some late-night fun in no time!

Method
1
Building an Argument
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Step 1 Write out a list of reasons why you want to have a sleepover.
1
Write out a list of reasons why you want to have a sleepover. Think about why you want to have a sleepover and write down a few reasons on a piece of paper.[1] Write down that you want to strengthen your friendships and have a fun time with your friends in a safe environment. talk with you about. I was thinking after swim practice tonight. Are you free then?”
“I’m completely safe and healthy, but I have something important to tell you. I’d like it to be just the two of us.”
She may want to ask multiple questions right away. Try to stay calm and stick to the plan: “I promise we’ll talk about everything tonight.”
Step 4 Open with positive statements to set the tone for a healthy discussion.
4
Open with positive statements to set the tone for a healthy discussion.
NV believes in viewing coming out as a gift because you’re sharing your true self with someone else.[3] When you come out, your mom could very well feel shocked and overwhelmed. But by reminding her that you love her, that you care about your relationship, and that you trust her enough to share who you ay, “We can have everybody sleep on the floor in sleeping bags!”
Sardines, hide and seek, board games, and card games are all excellent activities for a sleepover.
Step 5 Practice your presentation...
5
Practice your presentation in your room before asking her. Once you’ve got a few reasons that you want to host a sleepover, a guest list, and some plans for the night, practice presenting the information out loud. Walk through each part of your proposal by saying it out loud in your rldn’t feel guilty about taking a break every now and then.
You shouldn’t feel guilty about taking a break every now and then. It sends a message to your kids about the importance of managing stress and caring for oneself. Plus, spending time apart helps you decompress and helps them learn to do things on their own.[9]
Being stressed out affects your children, so carve out time for self-care daily. This might be unwinding with a long soak and a book each evening, or enjoying a quiet cup of coffee before the kids rise every morning. Just remember to take care of you!
Don't be afraid to tell your childreneepover setting. Overnight programs can be fun because they give you plenty to do in an environment where you don’t normally get to spend the night![15]
Say, “What if my friends and I attend an educational program? Do you know of any at the zoo or library?”
Community Q&A
Question
How can I stop it from being a boring night?
wikiHow Staff Editor
wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
Consider playing some games that everyone enjoys. Card games, like war or goldfish, are excellent games that almost everyone enjoys. If it's a small group, considehat you have to say. If you choose a less stressful time in her life, that could help too.
For instance, your living room would likely be more comfortable for her than a public place, like the park.
Similarly, if you know your mom is giving a big presentation at work, consider waiting until she’s done to have your discussion.
Step 4 Be prepared to answer questions and address concerns.
4
Be prepared to answer questions and address concerns.
Your mom might be confused or need clarification, and it’s best to be aware of some of the things she might say or ask. “A lot of the fear and a lot of the anger is this idea that you're going to have a hard life if you're gay,” notes NV.[12] Your mom may worry about discrimination or safe sex, and it’s good to know how you want to address those topics before you have the conversation.
For instance, your mom might worry you won’t be able to have kids. NV says to remind her that there are plenty of ways you can still have a family.[13]
If your mom is worried about your safety, it means she cares. Feel free to set boundaries to make yourself more comfortable, but allow her to voice her concerns.
While you don’t owe anyone an explanation, it may make it easier on your relationship to keep an open line of communication. Remember that curiosity doesn’t equal rejection.
Step 5 Be aware of misconceptions your mom may have.
5
Be aware of misconceptions your mom may have.
Depending on your mom’s background and education on LGBT+ topics, she may need a little redirection on certain ideas. If you believe your mom’s political or religious beliefs may influence her reactions, prepare how you want to respond to her. It might help to have some relevant resources or information ready to share with her. Remember, even if she doesn’t understand right away, it doesn’t mean you can’t work together to help her learn.
For example, if your mom is Christian and you’re worried her faith may clash with your sexuality, you might direct her to resources for Christian parents of LGBT children.
Q Christian Fellowship provides family resources aimed at preserving relationships between LGBT youth and their religious family/community.
Try to be patient if your mom needs some time to educate herself. This is likely an overwhelming experience for both of you, and it can be easier to preuiz2    Am I a Lesbian Quiz
3 - Am I Bisexual Quiz3    Am I Bisexual Quiz
Expert Q&A
Question
How can I figure out if my mom is the right person to tell? I'm not so sure she'll be supportive.
Deb Schneider, LCSW, PPSC
Deb Schneider, LCSW, PPSC
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Expert Answer
Trust your guts. If deep down you don't think she's going to respond in a productive and supportive way, don't tell her. If you want to come out, tell someone you know you can trusr plans. A sleepover at your house will impact your parent too, since they’ll have to prepare their home, coordinate with other parents, and monitor you and your friends, so be willing to accept that they may change your plans.[11]
Say, “Thank you for taking the time to listen to me” at the end of your presentation.
Method
3
Proposing Alternatives
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Step 1 Ask your mom if you can have a sleepover at a friend’s house.
1
Ask your mom if you can have a sleepover at a friend’s house. If your mother isn’t comfortable hosting a sleepover at your house, see if she’d be alright with you attending a sleepover somewhere else. If the problem is that she doesn’t want to supervise you and your friends, she may have no problem with another parent watching over you.[12]
When she turns down the possibility of ur parentr playing some video games together. Ask your friends what they're interested in doing before they come over!
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Question
What will happen at a sleepover?
wikiHow Staff Editor
wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
You can play games, talk, or watch a movie! It's really up to you and your friends. Ask them what they'd be interested in doing before the big night to see what everyone is interested in.
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Question
What if you have a baby sister that will wake up if you are too loud?
wikiHow Staff Editor
wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
Do you have multiple floors in your home? If so, consider restricting sleepover activities to the floor that you sister isn't on. For example, if your sister's room is on the second floor, stay in the basement for the night.equences if they don’t comply. Then, post a cheat sheet of the rules in a common area, like on the fridge.[4]
Make rules clear and concise but with a positive spin, like “Everyone should walk indoors” instead of “No running in the house!”
Depending on the age of your children, you might have an open discussion with them to decide on fair rules and consequences together. You might start trying to do this once your child is able to work out for themselves some consequences to misbehavior.
6
Follow through with consequences.
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You made the rules, and your children have to follow them.
You made the rules, and your children have to follow them. You don’t have to be a stickler for discipline—if someone comes home 5 minutes after curfew, you can let it slide. However, make sure you enforce the rules that you’ve set up so your kids know you mean business.
Disciplining your children for rule-breaking doesn’t necessarily translate to being mean. Criticize the behavior rather than the child. This might sound like, “Isaiah, what should you do instead of pushing Charlie? Because you pushed, you’ll have to wait 5 more minutes before taking a turn to show how patient you can be.”
Make sure the consequences feel logical. For example, if your child watches too much TV and didn’t finish their homework, consider limiting their screen time.
7
Try to practice what you preach.
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Think about the example that you’re setting for your children.
Think about the example that you’re setting for your children. If you tell them not to lie, you shouldn’t tell lies either. If you often talk about the importance of healthy eating, try to stick to a balanced diet. Kids are more likely to follow the rules if you follow them, too.[5]
This also includes modeling things like being a hard worker and not using drugs or alcohol.
8
Admit when you were wrong.
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You’re not going to be a perfect mom, and that’s okay.
You’re not going to be a perfect mom, and that’s okay. When you admit your mistakes and apologize for them, you show your children that you respect them as human beings. Admitting your own wrongdoing shows your kids that there’s nothing to be ashamed of about mistakes—as long as they fess up and try to make amends.[6]
For instance, if you accidentally compare one kid to another, acknowledge that it was wrong by saying, “Jeff, I want to apologize to you. I compared you to your brother yesterday and I shouldn’t have. Each of you is special with your own qualities. Will you please forgive me?”
9
Split responsibilities with your co-parent.
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Good moms don't try to do it all on their own.
Good moms don't try to do it all on their own. If you're parenting with a spouse or partner, ask them to share the load with you. If you're overwhelmed, request that theya sleepover at your place, you can immediately say, “What if my friends and I have a sleepover at Danny’s house? His parents already said that it was okay!”
Tip: Before you talk to your mother, ask your friends if any of their parents would be willing to host a sleepover if your parents say no. This way you can propose an alternative immediately without having to have a separate conversation.

Step 2 Consider a “half-over” where your friends don’t stay the night.
2
Consider a “half-over” where your friends don’t stay the night. If your mom doesn’t want your friends to spend the night, ask her if you can have a half-over. Invite your friends over, dress up in your pajamas, and play all the games that you planned on playing during your sleepover. Arrange it so that your friends ll learn from a sleepover, like how to become independent and deal with other people’s differences in a controlled environment.
Your mom probably had sleepovers when she was your age, so a reason like, “It’s a rite of passage when you’re young!” is perfectly reasonable.
Possible reasons include stHow to Come Out to Your Mom (& How to Prepare)
 

Telling Your Mom You’re Gay |Preparing to Come Out |Next Steps |Video |Expert Q&A |Tips
You've decided to come out to your mom—that's amazing! The process can be completely terrifying, but when you're honest about who you really are, you're opening the door to a more honest relationship. You may be stressing out over things like what you should say, when you should say it, and how you should prepare, but don’t worry. We've partnered with LGBTQIA+ educators to help you navigate the coming out process and more. Keep reading to learn how to tell your mom you’re gay. Plus, we’ll go over some extra guidance on preparing to tell your mom and moving forward after you tell her.

Telling Your Mom You're Gay or Lesbian
LGBTQIA+ activist and educator NV Gay sayse running high. This can cause you to forget things or lose your train of thought while speaking. Keep this paper with you for reference or, if it’d make you feel more comfortable, it's okay to read directly from the page. Stoller says you can even write a letter for your mom to read, if it’s easier than saying it out loud.[11]
Writing your thoughts down could even help you sort through how you’re feeling.
You may realize, for instance, that you really want your mom to know when you realized you were gay. Now you'll remember to include that.
Step 3 Talk to your mom when she feels comfortable and relaxed.
3
Talk to your mom when she feels comfortable and relaxed.
Coming out is an important milestone, an that you're t
Meet the moms of your kids’ friends at school, at church, or on the playground to make new friends.
It’s equally important to connect with others as a human being, not only as a mom! Hang out with friends, go on dates, and cherish your familial relationships, too.